Some sadness for 'Hallo'

OK so I am in here - in a great world of skilled and perhaps intelligent people.
My English isn't perfect, so I want to apologise for all mistakes I make.
I live in Poland - in Eastern Europe (it hasn't been a part of Russia as thousands think). Through my window I can see the suburb of the capital, the greatest city in Poland - Warsaw. I can also see the Palace of Culture and Science - the gift from Our Big Brother of the Past (we had a choice - the Palace in which so many public institutions or the underground - we made a choice, so now we had only few metro stations and The Palace isn't for people any more - just private organisations, summarizing - now we have got nothing indeed).
It's autumn, rainy, cloudy, cold, the Sun stopped visiting us a week ago. Typical English weather, I suppose.
I am ill. Therefore I can sit in my room, looking around, surfing and wondering about life itself. I've got time today to think, however, it's not my day ;) So much to do, so much to say, so much to write, so much to exist... Never be late. Always perfect. And the illness, battle of my organism - hate it. Feel weak, passing, flimsy like a glass. Just one element is out of order and the whole machine is failing. Just a human being... Not a perfect computer as so many scientists believe in, not a perfect creature as so many priest say, not even a well-working installation as so many artists pray. In spite of hundreds of years of our progressive development we are still weak or even weaker than before. We lost faith, we lost hope, our mind is believed to be strong (although look only at people around you - isn't it a myth?). Our body is dependent on some medicines and pharmaceutical evollution; commercial market increase (clothes, houses, food etc.) and some disasters prepared for us by politics.
Today I read in Der Spiegel that next 14 whales died according to some human activities. Brilliant we are! So strong! So cruel! We feel masters of the Earth forgetting we aren't alone. Sometimes I feel the strange chaos that is going to come in the nearest future. Sometimes I feel I'm in it since I was born. The chaos I can observe really started about 20 years ago. The values of the old world collapsed, another - have changed. We are receding, backing in our human development, still calling it a progress. The question: is it our bielief or is it our hope to believe? Depends, as everything, on an individual. As I think, millions still don't use their brains, are manipulated as puppets, although so much is being said about their consciousness, they are blind and deaf. Only few are able to think, create and look into future with resposnibility. It isn't connected with graduation at school or master's degree, studies or certificates. It isn't connected with scientists, econimists, programmers and other educated people. It isn't connected with education itself. Hard to find some really open minded people in edu systems. The main problem is to understand not mechanisms or proccesses but feeling the responsibility for others. Everyday. We can call it 'love', 'consciousness', 'hope' or 'faith' - these all say the one thing: take care of someone near you. So simple and so forgotten. Sorry...